Derek Jeter = St. Francis of Assisi?

This tongue-in-cheek article purporting to help those who see only emerging theocracy in America understand religious terms better than their writing suggests they might had me laughing out loud. Here are a couple of the funnier entries:

Catholics

Catholics are the New York Yankees of Christianity. They are the biggest and wealthiest team, and their owner is intensely controversial (this makes St. Francis of Assisi the Derek Jeter of Catholicism: discuss). Catholics all wear matching uniforms, and are divided into "parishes," or "squadrons," to make choosing softball teams easier. Catholics are rigidly controlled by a hidebound hierarchy that starts with priests and ends with priests' housekeepers. Catholics are not allowed to read the Bible, eat meat, or refrain from worshipping statues.

Orthodox

For many years, American scholars believed the Orthodox were, like leprechauns, unicorns, and Eskimos, purely the product of the fanciful imaginations of medieval writers. Recent evidence leads us to tentatively conclude, however, that Eastern Orthodoxy may have somewhere in the neighborhood of 250 million adherents. Protestants tend to see the Orthodox as "Catholics with beards," while Catholics confess to a haunting sense that they are simply "Orthodox without beards."

Read the whole thing!

Red State Rock

John J. Miller of National Review has compiled a list of the Top 50 Conservative Rock Songs, just in time for Memorial Day....check it out and add you own suggestions for Quad Squad.

My personal favorite on this list is "Sweet Home Alabama," especially in light of Lefty Canadian Neil Young's new liberal anthem, "Let's Impeach the President."

As Skynrd says "a Southern man don't need him around anyhow" -- and neither does a transplanted Southern woman!!!

More Franklin photos - part II

UPDATE (June 7, 2006): I had removed these posts as things didn't work out quite the way I thought they would. However, things are back on track for our move, even though I will be working in Hermitage rather than Columbia. It's a long story for another day. Suffice it to say that I am thrilled with how things turned out.

Paul

Here are the rest:


The view as you enter through the front door. Stairs to the right, study to the left, closet is first door past the French (We surrender!) doors to the study, and the half bath is the next door down on the left. Straight ahead is the family room; the window dead ahead looks out onto the screened in porch. Left of that you get a glimpse of a portion of the hearth room.


Pretty classic stairway to the right.


A view of the neighborhood and the backsides of Angela and the realtor, a guy named Maik (pronounced Mike) Lowe - he says it's German, but I think his parents couldn't spell very well.

More Franklin photos

UPDATE (June 7, 2006): I had removed these posts as things didn't work out quite the way I thought they would. However, things are back on track for our move, even though I will be working in Hermitage rather than Columbia. It's a long story for another day. Suffice it to say that I am thrilled with how things turned out.

Paul

Here is the deal with the house:

It is in an adjoining subdivision to the one that Bob & Diane Giuliani live in, which is a plus. Not that I would have made that a condition for finding a house, but to have found one so close to friends is a nice bonus.

It is about 3500 square feet and has a decent yard by Nashville standards. Many subdivisions are built on the mansion-on-a-postage-stamp plan, and you can spit from your back porch onto the neighbor's wall. This one has a flat yard, albeit small, but still large enough to play catch.

There is a study off the left of the foyer as you enter through the front door. There is a large closet and half bath off the foyer. Straight ahead is the family room with built-in shelves flanking a fireplace. Beyond that is a screened-in porch. To the left of the family room is the kitchen. Between the kitchen and the study is a formal dining room. Beyond the kitchen (and to the left of the screened-in porch) is a "hearth room" with a second fireplace, which we will probably use as a breakfast area. To the right of the family room behind the garage is the master suite, which has a door that opens onto the porch. Cup of coffee on the porch in the morning... that's living!

Upstairs are three bedrooms, two full baths, a loft, and a nice bonus room over the garage. It is a very liveable house for our family. Emmy will have her own bed/bath, and the bonus room will make a nice place for visitors to stay.


The nice flat composite driveway makes for a nice place to put up a hoop. There is a side entrance to the near side of the garage door. The window in the picture is a translucent window over the master bath whirlpool tub for privacy. The higher window is in the bonus room.


Side entry garages are all the rage, and I like the look of this window facing the street rather than a garage door.


Here is a view of the screened-in porch, approached from the right side of the house. That is, if you walked up the drive onto the lawn and turned left at the corner of the house, this is what you would see. More lawn in the foreground and to the right in this picture - enough to play catch or even put up a volleyball net.

Franklin Fotos

UPDATE (June 7, 2006): I had removed these posts as things didn't work out quite the way I thought they would. However, things are back on track for our move, even though I will be working in Hermitage rather than Columbia. It's a long story for another day. Suffice it to say that I am thrilled with how things turned out.

Paul

Here are some photos of the house we will be moving into:





I will post some more - the link above is to the real estate site which has some more pictures.

Three tips for Bush and the Republicans

If Bush and the dolts in the Senate follow this advice, the Democratic party as we know it is finished:

1. Bomb the Iranian nuclear program back to the Stone Age and drop one on Syria while they're at it;

2. Build a wall at the Mexican border;

3.Drill in Anwar and off the coasts of Florida and California,and start building refineries and nuclear reactors.

It's simple. Why these morons can't see it, is a mystery to me.

RIP, Floyd...

Still the best KO I have ever seen...


Had heard of Floyd's illness a while ago. He was stll
lucid when they began Classic Sports in 1997, as they
had him in studio a couple of times with Dick Schapp
talking about the Johanssen fights, but he dropped
from public sight shortly thereafter.

I think Floyd's appeal was due to a sort of grace
about him, and the fact he seemed a rather fragile
sort beneath the surface who drew empathy from fans
when he suffered his most-lopsided losses to Ingo and
Liston, and when Ali tortured him when Floyd's back went
out that rainy night in Vegas back in November, 1965.

Patterson was the last of an unassuming breed until
Clay/Ali came along and changed the demographics of
not only boxing, but sport (and maybe even society?)
in general. The late Mark Kram hit the whole Ali
thing on the head in his great book "Ghosts of
Manila," as Ali, the ultimate carnival-barker, set the
stage for a subsequent generation of hot dog athletes.
That Floyd was one of the last stars who preceded
that era, and always displayed class and grace,
endeared him to the masses.

Recently I heard an interview taped immediately after
the first Liston KO, while Floyd was still in the
ring. Though the story of Floyd leaving Comiskey Park
incognito (with a fake beard and sunglasses) is part
of boxing lore, people ought to listen to this
interview sometime, which Floyd granted just a few
minutes after he was knocked out. He was unfailingly
gracious toward Sonny, which, through the years,
really resonated, being that it was such a harsh
departure from the Ali-inspired crudeness in sport and
boxing that followed shortly thereafter.

I wonder if Spike Lee and the bunch of punks who
worship Ali but weren't even alive when he hit the
scene know that Floyd was the overwhelming sentimental
favorite against Ali not only in 1965 (when Ali was
admittedly at a low-ebb p.r. wise), but even in their
last fight in 1972, the final of Floyd's career. Ali
was supposedly a "hero" by that point but the crowd at
Madison Square Garden that evening was still
unabashedly pro-Floyd.

Floyd was popular because he always got off the canvas
(he was even on his legs, wobbly as they were, when
the fights ended vs. Ingo & Liston), proved a great
comeback kid in the last two Johanssen fights, and
almost always put on a good show. Most of my memories
of Floyd's fighting days came later in his career; the
Chuvalo fight at the Garden in '65, the Ali fights,
two wars vs. Jerry Quarry, and getting robbed of the
decision in Stockholm vs. Jimmy Ellis the same day
Denny McLain won number 30 for the Tigers against
Danny Cater and the A's in September, 1968. Though one of
my earlier sports memories is of Liston KOing Floyd at
Vegas in July of '63, and reading the paper the
following day as we took a trip up to Bass
Lake/Yosemite Park. My dad had gone to watch the
fight closed-circuit the night before and I recall the
pictures from the paper the next day. In later years,
when I finally saw the film of the fight, I could
relate to much of the action from the pictures I
remembered, especially as Floyd was going down, and
Liston standing over him menacingly. It really is one
of the first real sports memories of my life.

The Ellis fight, however, still grates. I remember
watching much of that match from a booth at the L.A.
County Fair that day (my mom and Aunt Rose were off
looking at other things, and knew I would stay put in
front of the TV because I wanted to watch the fight),
and Cosell basically conceded the decision to Floyd,
only to be shocked at the final verdict. Ellis was
pretty beaten up, his nose bent and broken at the end
of the fight. To this day I think that was one of the
really bad officiating robberies of my sports
lifetime, denying Floyd a chance to be a 3-time champ.
He would have had a more secure footing in sports
lore forever had that verdict gone as it should.

I will always remember Floyd as one of the sports
heroes of my youth, the heavyweight champ the first
few years of my life. Though I don't recall him until
later, through the gift of film I have watched a lot
of his earlier fights, and must say the devastating KO blow in
the 2nd Johanssen fight in 1960 was the most perfect
left hook I have ever seen. It was the greatest
one-punch KO I have seen to this day, with Ingo's foot
twitching as he was out cold on the canvas. Floyd
didn't win them all, but at least he always put on a
good show.

RIP, Floyd...

Trip to Italy

Sorry for the inconsistent blogging guys, but things have been very hectic. I am psyched because on Saturday Mark, my parents, and I take off for sunny Italy.I am starting to feel like a world traveler, but I'm still light years behind Uncle Brucie unfortunately. By the way Brucie, I believe a trip to Leggo Land is also in the works, so sunny California could be in our future as well.

As for this trip, we plan to spend two days in Rome and then head south to stay with relatives. We will visit Naples, Salerno, Sorrento, Capri, and Amalfi. You haven't lived until you've seen the Amalfi Drive. Of course if you don't drive it very carefully, you won't live period. Arrividerci !

PS If the Phils sweep the Muts to get up to 11 straight, they will win the division despite 6 Chins and his gang of morons ( with the exception of Pat Gillick of course).

Nashville is #1

It's been #1 in my heart for some time. Now others are noticing.

PS: Thanks to Dan for the tip that led me to this article.

The Perfect Game

My Dad, Mark, and I went to the Phils - Giants game last Saturday and the evening couldn't have been more perfect. We bought up an upper deck ticket for $12 bucks ( we already had two $35 tix in the lower level on the first base side) and we all ened up sitting together.

Then when we walked in, we found out it was Ryan Howard Growth Chart poster night and Mark got a poster of one of his favorite Phils which is now hanging on his wall. A few seconds later,a Phils employee approached me and asked if Mark was my son. I responded affirmatively and asked " what did he win". Of course, I was just joking. But I was shocked when the young lady replied that Mark had won the right to go onto the field with the grounds crew, along with some other kids after the bottom of the third inning.

We arrived two hours early for a 7pm game, and grabbed a bite to eat and sat down to watch batting practice. When we were finished Mark and I walked down to the first row because he wanted to see the players up close and wanted to get a baseball.

We went down to the edge of the dugout, and when I looked in I saw a baseball on the ground, but it was out of my reach. Just when I was contemplating how to get the ball, a camera man came by and set up in the dug out.I aksed him to flip me the ball and he happily did so.

We returned to our seats just in time to hear the PA anouncer state that the Kentucky Derby would be shown on the big screen. Presto ! We had front row seats to Barbaro's impressive win. A short while later, the game began and I heard Mark exclaim "'Look there's Grandpop !" Sure enough Big Al was on the big screen for all to see, and a moment later Mark and I joined him.

At the top of the second, Mark and I headed to section 125 behind home plate just as directed. While en route, I anticipated that there would be about twenty kids there. To my surprise, Mark was one of only three. The Phillies ushers were wonderful and took the kids donwstairs to the field, after telling the parents that we were not invited.I was disappointed that I didn't have a camera, but my disapppointment was short lived. A mother of a young girl who was also picked to go on the field offered to take pictures for me and to mail them to me.

The Big Moment came after the bottom of the third. At that point, Mark and the other two kids ran onto the field with the grounds crew. While running out, they were pictured on the big video screen and their names were announced over the loud speaker.One kid ran to first, one to second, and Mark to third.

I was thrilled to watch Mark and the grounds crew guy remove the old third base together. Then they both put down a new third base, and Mark ran off the field carrying the old third sack. While he was out, there he came within a few feet of some Giants as well as some Phillies. It gave me the chills.

Meanwhile, the Mom who took the digital pictures showed me how they turned out and they looked awesome. I should receive them in the mail next week.

We then returned to our seats and enjoyed the Phils 4 -1 win. To top it off, Barry looked terrible. On one play he was called out while running from first to second when he was hit by a batted ball.

What more could you possibly ask for ? A Ryan Howard poster, the three of us shown on the big screen, a baseball, the Derby, an appearance on the field for Mark, and the Phils not yet mathematically eliminated. I told Mark that he'll forever be able to tell his friends that he made it to third base in a big league game. Truly a perfect game !

NFL Uniform news...purple pants back with Vikings!

It's about time! For the first time since 1965, the Vikings will don purple pants this season. At one time Minnesota owned the most-colorful uniform in the NFL, a forerunner to stylish outfits introduced many years later, but the Vikes have insisted on a drab white-on-white road garb for almost 40 years...until now.

But hold on...there is also a combination of white-on-white in the new uniform design that will make the Vikings look almost exactly like Northwestern (another team which has inexplicably gone white-on-white instead of the old white-on-purple for away uniforms lately). Hopefully we will see more of the white-on-purple, though I suspect that will depend upon the Vikings winning more games when wearing this combo. Sadly, teams get very superstitious, as the Redksins did last season when junking the classy burgundy pants and going white-on-white when they got hot wearing the latter in the final part of the campaign...

Congratulations to, uh, me

I received the 2006 Physician of the Year Award last night.

I want to thank Mark and Carolyn for their gifts of champagne and vino, and the nice cards that accompanied them. My mom and dad gave me several nice gifts with a St. Joe's theme, including a nifty pen and pencil set (for those of you who grew up in Philly at a certain time, the Gene Hart reference will not be lost on you).

I wish to thank the Academy and urge the Chicoms to get out of Tibet. And Bush out of Iraq, because all war is bad. Except if we go into the Sudan. Unless it becomes a quagmire. OK, I hear the music, I am finishing. Where's Shasheen Littlefeather when you need her?