Friday notes on a scorecard...

What would you call Hugh Hefner if he married all the women he slept with?...
Brigham Young...

Why is it that Rafael Palmeiro gets booed at every road game, and nobody makes a peep when Ryan Franklin pitches? I guess it's okay to do steroids if you stink...

If I was Rita van Susteren's plastic surgeon, I might leave the country before the malpractice suit hits...

That highway bill has so much pork in it, I thought it might have been authored by Frank Broyles...

When I walked into my high school reunion, at first I mistook it for a bar mitzvah. Then I realized the guys weren't wearing yarmulkas--they were all going bald...

Women seem to take these reunions more seriously then men. Most of the gals look pretty good, even 30 years on. Whereas most of the guys look like their dads. Or Homer Simpson...

I'm not much of a clothes horse. I looked in my closet yesterday and found all of two neckties. One of them hadn't been worn since 1986. The other had a Curious George design...

Somebody get Rita Cosby some throat lozenges. Fast...

Warning to new Pirates manager Pete Mackanin. Using Jose Mesa as your closer is fine--as long as the game isn't close...