Notes on a midweek scorecard...

Last night, my wife told me her foot was hurting, and asked me what she should do. I told her to limp...

I bet on a horse last week at Del Mar. He was so good, it took 7 other horses to beat him...

I was just listening to Bill "Unreal" Campbell's call of Wilt's 100-point game. "Unreal" had quite a voice...did he really gargle with turtle wax?...

A friend of mine was moping yesterday. I asked him what was wrong. He said he had decided to be Larry David for Halloween. When he went to get outfitted at the costume shop, the guy behind the counter told him he didn't need a costume...or a mask...

My daugther Natalie was telling me some of the highlights of her first week at Loyola-Chicago. She said many girls on her floor had befriended a gay guy who lives in the dorm. He apparently likes fashion and wants to go shopping with them on Michigan Avenue. I suppose the Jesuits aren't screening them like they used to...

Is it just me, or does Bill Frist always look like he's constipated?...

An actor I know once considered himself a leading-man type. No longer. What changed his mind? He was hoping for the lead role in "Ronald Reagan, The Movie." Then his agent called and told him he had another part--as Judge Robert Bork...

I must be getting older. When Jessica Simpson was on ABC's The View the other day, I was checking out Meredith Vieira instead...

And why was I watching The View? Just channel hopping--really...