Two garbage bags

A little football-inspired humor to get ready for the season...

A little old lady was walking down the street, dragging two plastic garbage bags with her, one in each hand. There was a hole in one of the bags. And, every once in a while, a $20 bill was flying out of it, onto the pavement.

Noticing this, a policeman stopped her. "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag."

"Damn!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back, and see if I can still find some. Thanks for the warning!"

"Well, now, not so fast little lady," said the cop. "How did you get all of that money? Did you steal it?"

"Oh, no," said the little old lady. "You see, my back yard backs up to the parking lot of Lambeau Field. Each time that there's a game, a lot of fans come and pee into the bushes, and right into my flower beds! So, I go and stand behind the bushes, with a big hedge clipper. And, each time that someone sticks his little thingie through the bushes, I say, "$20, or off it comes!"

"Hey, not a bad idea!" laughed the cop. "OK, good luck! By the way, what's in the other bag?"

"Well," said the little old lady, "some guys think I'm bluffing."

Thanks to prolific e-mailer John Carroll for this one!